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Submitted on
July 11, 2013
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Derp
No, seriously. My parents think i have a depression so my dad is taking me to a psychiatrist (?) I've told them so many times though, that nothing's bothering me, and that i feel fine. The only reason i'm not social, is because.. Well take a look at these 13 year olds that are around right now.... They don't get that i hate everyone more than anything because they all act like they're 4 years older and it pisses me off
Everytime i tell them how i feel, all i'm told is "You have problems, dear.. You've gained quite a lot of weight as well" OH THANK YOU?
Why can't anyone understand me? I don't have any personality disorders or anything, it's just because i don't want to become like all those stupid people out there, with all their text talk and what not.

Anyways;
My cousin had a depression at my age and ended up committing suicide. And even though that's very serious and so on, i'm not having ANY suicidal thoughts. The only thoughts i've had would be things like "These people are being deceived, i shall not listen. Their words are poisonous and i will not be defeated by sadness, anger, lust, greed, or whatever has taken it's toll on them" I do cry about everyday/every second day, but that is because i do not show any emotion during daytime, and i let everything out at night
so my emotions do not bother people. Though it is the case that i do not have many friends and that i prefer being alone all the time, rather than being bothered by people and their optimistic thoughts that end up pissing me off as i am very short tempered. I am also very vulnerable towards negative words and will spend time wondering what they meant. The only way for me to calm down is when i tell myself off, inside my head.. It's the same if i feel any emotion, a little voice echoes in my head that i should calm myself, and that nothing's important enough to be either happy, nor sad. So basically i do not feel any emotion towards anyone or their feelings. The only time where i feel emotion is when i'm completely alone, and it usually includes laughing alot and having what other people, i guess.. Would call "A blast" ? Anyways, when other people are around it's like my emotions turn off and then when i'm alone i feel like i can finally be happy

It's not that i can't control it though, it's my own decision to shut down all emotion and only focus on whatever is important to me.
I'm sure people who read this will have the same opinion as everyone else, that i'm insane and need help or whatever

Thanks for reading. 

:iconsofarinrunning:
Sofarinrunning Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ugh, the old "AMG PSYCHIATRIST TIME". I remember I used to go to one. I think it only worsened it. It made me feel alienated and such... I don't think you're crazy, I went through almost the SAME THING. Just try pushing through it. Even if it is a bother, don't let it consume your life. Or your summer. Or anything. Note me whenever, I'm here for you.
I love you gurl (no homo). :iconletmehugyouplz:
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:icondrunkfrogs:
DrunkFrogs Jul 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks
My dad is forcing me to go to one, because he's worried about me.
I do understand that, but i've told him over and over that i'm fine and so on but he won't listen.. ;3;


I love you too :iconiloveitplz:
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